josh: elaine said you gave her permission to have sex with me. thank you lol
Guy: haha
Guy: well i mean what guy wouldn’t want sex
Guy: sex is good
Guy: she was actually like…
Guy: i don’t know if he does
Guy: and i was like
Guy: sex!
josh: penis = yes
Guy: it’s SEX!
Guy: exactly
Guy: it’s like going int oa candy store and the manager offering a free lollipop
josh: wowww
Guy: it’s like you saying “fucl you’re lollipop”
josh: awkward analogy

Read the rest of this entry »

Context: Guy has been reading a book on how to be a PIMP.

josh: getting a girl isn’t really easy either
josh: i’ve had 2
Guy: wow that makes…2 more than me
Guy: but no fear
Guy: i have learned the ways of picking up the ladiesss
josh: hahaha
Guy: i’m trying to become a pickup artist
Guy: i’m focusing on fay game
Guy: vs night game
josh: “pickup artist” … lmfao

Here’s a Convo Vince and I just had..

Guy: soooo
Vincent: ass butt
Guy: blargggg!
Vincent: rawrrr!
Guy: meooowrar!
Vincent: mewwwwwtwwooo!
Guy: mew
Guy: mewww
Guy: PYSHICCcCC
Vincent: CHARIZARD!!!!
Guy: BLASTIOSEEE
Guy: HYDROO PUMP!!!
Vincent: piikaaa-CHHHUUUUUUUU!!!!!!
Guy: GEODUDE!! GO!
Guy: ROCK THROW!
Vincent: GO GRAVELER!! FUCK THAT BITCH UP! ROCK SLIDE!
Guy: GO PIEGGETTO!!
Guy: FLY!!!
Vincent: Oh shit!
Guy: mUHAHAHA
Vincent: Graveler used dig!
Guy: FUCK
Guy: Go GASTLY!!!
Guy: NIGHSHADE!!!!!
Vincent: Gahstly takes the attack like a prison bitch!
Vincent: It’s super effective!!!
Guy: noooo
Vincent: Ghastly is down for the count!!
Guy: come back ghastly!
Guy: go Squirtle!
Guy: Use water gun!
Guy: GRAVELER TAKES IT UP HIS POOPER!
Vincent: Ohhh fuck!! Poor graveler is deeaddedd!!
Vincent: Go Raichu!
Guy: SUCK IT!
Guy: Fuck
Guy: come back squirtle!
Vincent: Thunderwave!!!!!
Guy: NOO
Guy: GO PIGETTO!
Guy: FLY THAT BBITCHHHHH
Vincent: RAICHU USES THUNDER!!!
Vincent: IT HITS YOUR BITCH ASS!!!
Guy: noooooo
Guy: go digtrio!
Vincent: SUPER EFFECTIVE MO-FO!
Vincent: OH FUCK!!
Vincent: It’s ineffective!!
Guy: YAY!
Guy: GO BACK DUGTRIO!
Guy: GOOOO SYTHERR!
Vincent: Oh no!
Vincent: What will Raichu do?
Vincent: THUNDER!!!!!
Vincent: OH NOOOO!!!
Vincent: IT MISSED!!!
Vincent: Fuck that 70% success rate!!!!
Guy: MUHAHA
Guy: GO ZAPDOSSSS
Vincent: OHSHI-!!!
Vincent: A Legendary!!!!
Guy: YAY!!!
Vincent: Go Jigglypuff!!!
Guy: COME BACKK ZAPDOSS!!!!
Guy: GO DITTO!
Vincent: Use SING!!!!!
Vincent: AND THEN THE SHWING ATTACK!!!
Guy: DITTO IS NOT EFFECTED!
Guy: DITOOO USE TRANSFORM!
Guy: JIGGLYPUFFfff
Vincent: YOU FLY OFF THE SCREEN!!!
Guy: NOO!!
Vincent: JIGGLLIEEEPPpuuuufffffff
Vincent: GO CHARMANDER!!!
Vincent: USE TOTALLY FUCKING CUTE ATTACK!!!
Guy: GO CHHARIZARD!
Guy: BURN HIS ASS!
Guy: FLAMETHROWER!!!!!
Vincent: Oh Shit!
Guy: ya!
Vincent: Your crass harshness toward your former evolution makes littlecharmander cry himself to sleep
Guy: I CHOOSE BARNEY!!!!!!
Vincent: Oh fuck!!
Vincent: I chase him up a tree!
Guy: bite vince’s head off!
Vincent: And with a big shot gun, I shot him in the head!
Guy: HE COMES BACK AS A ZOMBIE!
Vincent: Now I know that barney’s dead
Guy: SUDNDELY A BILLION BARNEY ZOMBIE APPEARS
Vincent: FUUUUCCCKKKKKK!!!!!
Guy: GO ZOMBIE BARNEY! SKULL FUCK HIM!
Vincent: I TAKE A CHAINSAW TO THE MOTHERFUCKERS
Guy: CRAP!!!
Vincent: NNNOOOOOO!!!
Guy: I CHOOSE YOU! NUCLEAR MISSLE!
Guy: USE SELF DESTRUCT!
Vincent: STARWARS!!! REGAN WAS RIGHT, BITCH!!!
Vincent: I BLOW YOUR MISSILE OUT OF THE SKY!!!
Guy: i choose a kitty!
Vincent: Awwww!!!!
Guy: meow!
Guy: EVIL KITTY BITES VINCE!
Vincent: mreewww
Vincent: NOO!!
Guy: HE GOES FOR ThE JUGLAR!
Guy: ITS SUPER EFFICeTIVE!
Vincent: I cry at the cute cat’s betrayal!
Vincent: I am vanquished!
Guy: it poops on you as it plays with your blood
Guy: I VIN!
Vincent: I concede defeat…
Guy: as i sign of admiration, i take a leak on your corpse
Guy: oh wait..that’s a sign of defication
Guy: oh well
Vincent: whatev, when my ghost returns in three days, I will haunt the fuck out of you.
Guy: hey, if ghostbusters were real what would you do?
Vincent: skullfuck your mom
Guy: FALSE! THEY WOULD CAPTURE YOUR SOUL AND DESTROY IT !
Guy: IN HOLLLY FIREEEEEEE!
Vincent: SHIT!
Vincent: Well, that suck
Guy: ya!
Guy: i’m bored
Vincent: hopefully the stay-puff marshmallow will save me
Guy: i’m going to go to sleep
Guy: FALSE AGAIN!
Guy: I AM GOING TO SMORE HIS ASS!!
Vincent: YUMMY!!!
Guy: YUMMED!
Vincent: Everybody wins!!!
Guy: i’m going to put this convo on the spiffy life site
Vincent: dude, I am saving the fuck out of this
Guy: lol

You’ve gotta love two random people having random conversations. Basically any conversation with Guy will probably result in something like, or far funnier than these.

Guy: hi
josh: yo
Guy: what you up to?
josh: delaying homework
Guy: Yay!
josh: boo!
Guy: i’m going to draw a cartooonie
josh: yay!
Guy: i’m pregant!
josh: omg me too
Guy: YAY!
josh: YAY!
Guy: YAYYYY!
josh: nevermind, it was a fart
Guy: lol
josh: sometimes i wish we logged our convos for everyone to see, i think it’d be hilarious
Guy: lol
Guy: they make noo sense what so ever lol

and a few days later …

Guy: who knows
Guy: hmm i’m going to go exercise and shower
Guy: brb
josh: at the same time?
josh: that’s nasty, i know what you’re doing in there
Guy: lol

Don’t worry, more random shit to come. i’m slightly intrigued to see if anyone else has hilarious converations with Guy too …

lawl,
-josh